Dear friend,
Have you ever been completely exhausted, finally climbed into bed, turned off the light and suddenly your brain decided it was time to think about everything?
That conversation from three days ago.
The email you forgot to answer.
Something embarrassing you said five years ago.
Tomorrow’s responsibilities.
A decision you aren’t sure you made correctly.
And somehow, at 2:00 AM, every little problem feels ten times bigger. You close your eyes and tell yourself, “I need to stop thinking.” But the harder you try to stop thinking, the louder your mind seems to become. If this sounds familiar, I want you to know something first:
You are not failing at sleep. Your brain is simply still trying to process the day.
And the good news is that you don’t have to force your thoughts to disappear. Instead, you can gently teach your mind that it is safe to slow down.
Here are 3 simple things you can try tonight when you can’t stop overthinking.
1. Get the thoughts out of your head
Sometimes your brain keeps repeating the same thoughts because it is afraid you’ll forget something.
What if I forget to send that email?
What if tomorrow goes badly?
What if I should have said something different?
Your brain doesn’t necessarily need you to solve these problems at midnight. It just wants somewhere to put them. So try a simple bedtime brain dump.
Take a piece of paper and write down everything that’s running through your mind. Don’t organize it. Don’t make it pretty. Don’t try to solve anything.
Just write.
You might write:
- Things I need to do tomorrow
- Things I’m worried about
- Things I can’t control
- Things I need to remember
- Something that is bothering me
- Something I’m grateful for
Then finish with one sentence:
“I don’t need to solve this tonight.”
That sentence matters. Because nighttime is rarely the best time to make your biggest decisions. Your job right now isn’t to fix your entire life. Your job is to rest.
If your thoughts feel especially loud at bedtime, try putting them somewhere safe first: this journal was created to help you slow down, clear your mind, and end the day with a little more peace. You can buy it here.
2. Stop arguing with your thoughts
This one sounds strange, but hear me out. When an anxious thought appears, we often immediately fight it.
Don’t think about that.
Stop worrying.
Why am I still thinking about this?
I need to sleep.
And suddenly you’re no longer just thinking about the original problem. Now you’re worried about the fact that you’re worrying. It’s exhausting.
Instead, try noticing the thought without turning it into a conversation.
If your mind says: “What if tomorrow goes terribly?”
You can simply respond:
“Maybe. I’ll deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes.”
If your mind says:“Why did I say that earlier?”
“Why did I say that earlier?”
Try:
“I’m remembering something uncomfortable. I don’t have to solve it right now.”
You don’t have to prove the thought wrong. You don’t have to convince yourself everything will be perfect. You can simply let the thought exist without following it.
Think of your thoughts like cars passing outside your window. You can notice them. You don’t have to get inside every one.
3. Give your brain something peaceful to focus on
When your mind is racing, telling it to “think about nothing” usually doesn’t work. So give it something gentle to do instead.
Try slow breathing.
Breathe in slowly. Then breathe out a little more slowly.
Don’t worry about doing it perfectly. Just follow the rhythm. You can also try a simple body scan.
Start with your forehead.
Relax your forehead.
Relax your jaw.
Let your shoulders drop.
Relax your hands.
Soften your stomach.
Relax your legs.
Then notice how your body feels against the mattress.
If your thoughts wander, that’s okay. Simply come back to your breathing or the feeling of your body resting in bed. You may have to do this ten times. You may have to do it fifty times.
That’s okay.
The goal isn’t to have a completely empty mind. The goal is simply to stop feeding every thought that appears.
What if you still can’t stop overthinking at night?
Please don’t turn this into another reason to criticize yourself. Sometimes you will try everything and your mind will still be busy.
That’s okay.
Instead of lying there thinking, “Why can’t I sleep?”, remind yourself:
“Rest is still useful, even if sleep hasn’t arrived yet.”
If you’re wide awake for a long time, it can also help to get out of bed for a little while and do something quiet in low light. Return to bed when you feel sleepy again.
And if racing thoughts or sleep problems are happening frequently and affecting your everyday life, it’s worth talking with a healthcare professional. You don’t have to figure everything out alone.
Tonight, try this 3-minute reset
Before you close your eyes, take three minutes.
Minute 1: Write down everything your brain is trying to remember.
Minute 2: Tell yourself, “I don’t have to solve tomorrow tonight.”
Minute 3: Take slow breaths and relax your body from your forehead down to your feet.
That’s it.
No complicated routine. No pressure to meditate perfectly. No expectation that your mind will suddenly become completely silent. Just a small signal to your brain:
The day is over. You are allowed to rest.
Because sometimes the answer to overthinking isn’t thinking harder. Sometimes it’s giving yourself permission to stop. And dear friend, if your mind is replaying everything tonight, remember this:
Tomorrow will still be there in the morning.
You don’t have to carry it into bed with you. Let tonight be for rest. Let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.
And if you want to understand your overthinking more deeply and learn practical ways to break the cycle, this self-help book is a helpful place to start.
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