What You Can Control and What You Can’t

Posted bySithmi AttanayakePosted inBlog ArchiveTags:, , ,

Life can get pretty overwhelming, right? Life often feels overwhelming when we try to control everything around us. Sometimes it feels like you’re juggling a million things, trying to keep everything from falling apart. But here’s the thing: not everything is up to you. The truth is, some things are within our power, while others are not. Figuring out what you can control and what you can’t, makes life so much easier. Understanding this distinction can bring clarity and reduce stress.

What You Can Control

You have control over your actions, thoughts, and reactions. This includes setting goals, choosing your words, and deciding how you respond to challenges. For instance, if someone criticizes you, you can control whether you take it constructively or let it ruin your day. In simple words, if someone says something mean, you can decide whether to brush it off or let it ruin your day. Your habits, effort, and attitude are entirely in your hands, which means you’re in charge of your habits, your goals, and your attitudes. These are the things you can work on every day to steer your life in the direction you want. By focusing on these, you can influence outcomes and lead a more intentional life.

What You Cannot Control

Here’s the tricky part! There’s a ton you can’t control. For instance, you cannot control other people’s opinions, actions, decisions or feelings. Similarly, external events, such as sudden weather changes or global economic shifts are out of your hands. Dwelling on these can lead to frustration. Trying to control these things is like yelling at the wind to stop blowing which is totally pointless. Instead, shift your energy to adapting and finding solutions.

Why It Matters

When you stop stressing about what’s out of your hands, life gets way better. Recognizing the boundary between what you can and cannot control fosters resilience. It helps you stop wasting energy on things you cannot change and directs your focus to areas where you can make a difference. You’ll save your energy for the things you can actually change, like improving yourself or tackling challenges head-on. This approach reduces anxiety and empowers you to live more peacefully. You’ll feel less anxious and more in control of your own life.

By embracing this mindset, you cultivate acceptance and open the door to personal growth. So next time something throws you off, take a breath and ask yourself, “Can I actually control this?” If not, let it go and move forward with grace. Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff or the big stuff you can’t change. Focus on what’s yours to handle, and let the rest work itself out.

Published by Sithmi Attanayake

Blogger. Educator. Sociologist.

28 thoughts on “What You Can Control and What You Can’t”

  2. Dear Sithme, 
Your posts have depth of the sea 🌊 This one too has that delving character. 
You have a revolutionary thinking process.
    I am sincerely grateful for your liking of my post on Destiny 🥰❤️💓♥️🌿🌼💕

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  7. Absolutely! I’ve definitely been there. Trying to control everything is exhausting. I’ve learned to focus on what I can control – my reactions, my efforts, my attitude – and it’s made a huge difference.

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  13. Thank you for this thoughtful article. I completely agree with the idea of focusing on what we can control, like our actions and reactions, instead of worrying about things outside our power. Personally, I find it easier to stay in control when everything is calm and normal. But when my mind is disturbed, it feels like nothing is in my control, no matter how hard I try. Your words are a great reminder to practice patience and self-awareness during such moments. This message truly inspires me to keep working on finding peace within myself. Thank you for sharing!

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